So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
