i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize