Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
