how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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