Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
