I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pooping to opera.
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