Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
