Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
