well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
