Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
