Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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