Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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