Christians are straight up FREAKS
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
