I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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