Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
