first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
