I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
