Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
