oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
