would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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