I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
