Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
