What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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