Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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