Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
