If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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