real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
