Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
