Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize