I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
