We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize