mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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