Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
