dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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