Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
