Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
