i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
