Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize