Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
