you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
