Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
