If that was your dad, he is hot
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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