I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
