singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
