Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
