We named our party play list daddy issues
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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