it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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