i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
