Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize