Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
