my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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