could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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