Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
