yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize