my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
