He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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