Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
