"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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