Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
