she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm at about main and main street
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
