Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
