They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize