just tell him i said nine months
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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